Two Choices

Today, we watched this video in class. I have seen such a variety of reactions to it that I am never sure what will come out of a viewing. The first thing that struck me after showing it to the 7-1 group was the absolute silence that followed. I was impressed with the respect and compassion they displayed and the discussion that followed led me to think a little more about the three principle players of the bullying scene.

First of all, we have the bully. This is not a tough one to figure out, but they do come in different types. There are those who physically bully others, those who prefer to inflict emotional hurt, and those who redefine what they will socially allow for their victims. I am not sure why some people feel entitled to decide what happiness or comfort others should be allowed to enjoy, but there seem to be an awful lot of people who give themselves this liberty.

The second player is the victim. I know that there are many reasons a child (or adult) is targeted but are any of them valid? A person acts, dresses, talks, or behaves differently. Is it my place to ridicule them, or to correct them based on my definition of what is acceptable? Is it up to me to remind them that they are different, to point out to them that no one likes them the way they are? Sometimes they are easy targets. They are shy or physically weak, or even slower at accomplishing tasks (academic, athletic, musical or other). Again, is this a good enough reason to belittle them? What does any bully stand to gain by making someone else feel worthless or unliked or unpopular? If the answer is nothing, then WHY do they keep doing it?

The third (and possibly most important) player is the witness. We do not give him or her the attention he or she deserves. By deciding not to get involved, the witness is saying that what they see is OK. If it wasn't OK, they would surely do something about it. You disagree? It's more complicated than that? I would love to know why. Some will answer that others would look down on them for being a snitch. Shouldn't they worry more about others looking down on them for allowing the bullying to continue? Would others really say, "Yeah, we don't like him (or her) because they don't stand by and let people get bullied"? If they would, are these the kinds of people you really care to impress?

The behaviours we value sometimes baffle me. People say they are just not getting involved. The fact of the matter is that you are involved the minute you witness it. The question remains...

What are you going to CHOOSE to do about it?

Think about it carefully. Your response (translated through your actions) is spelled out in two ways.

1. I choose to get help (or do something myself) because what is happening is wrong and I will not stand by and allow it to continue.

2. I choose to allow this to continue by doing nothing.

Either way, it is your choice. Either way, your actions speak volumes about your character and your compassion towards another human being who has just as many feelings and rights to feel safe as you do. Either way, it defines you. So I ask you...

How would you rather be known?